Horoscopes! :P

[Limeanade]

Your Horoscopes

ARIES March 21-April 19
You tend to be headstrong and deliberate in your actions. Basically you don't give a **** about anyone. Most people hate you but you couldn't care less. You're the type of person who would masturbate at a wedding

TAURUS April 20-May 20
Warm and caring are your most endearing characteristics. You get on well with most people because you're bisexual. You hardly ever wear underwear and you constantly smell of ****.

GEMINI May 21-June 21
Your star sign denotes an air of duality in your character. Simply, you're a neurotic schizophrenic. A real ****ing weirdo, the type of person who'd kill them self to win a bet.

CANCER June 22-July 22
You have a businesslike attitude to life and a knack for making money. You're an unscrupulous ******* who would sell relative's limbs to buy a mobile phone. You are likely to be murdered.

LEO July 23-August 22
The adventurous type, always looking for thrills and willing to try anything. In other words, stupid. You have the IQ of a garden snail and will never amount to anything. Most Leos are living on the welfare.

VIRGO August 23-September 22
You like the good things in life and you know how to enjoy them. But you're prone to bull****ting and you're a cheap *******. Virgo men are usually queers and the majority of Virgo women are whores.

LIBRA September 23-October 22
You are the forgiving type and you don't bear grudges. This makes you an asshole. For your entire life people will make a complete prick out of you. Nobody will go to your funeral.

SCORPIO October 23 - November 21
You are sharp, a quick thinker and good at puzzles. However these are your only good traits. You screw small animals and love picking your nose. You should become a stunt performer with no helmet.

SAGITTARIUS November 22-December 21
You are the romantic mushy type, soft-hearted and a lover of the arts. You are likely to import Dutch pornography and sex toys. Men even willing to rent Sleepless In Seattle to increase your odds for a romp in the sack.

CAPRICORN December 22-January 19
You are deep and personal in your thoughts, the quiet type. A mean self-centered **** and a closet homosexual. Your best friend is probably an altar boy.

AQUARIUS January 20-February 18
You are the academic type and will probably end up working in the legal system. This means you are an absolute pervert, at the least a transvestite. Your ideal sexual partner is a Labrador puppy wearing fishnet tights.

PISCESFebruary 19-March 20
You are the eternal optimist, seeing the best of any situation. You have no grasp of reality and live in a dream world. Most people consider you to be the greatest living moron. You will continually fail. You're a prick.

[DaMan113]

some of those colors are too light to read

[Limeanade]

highlight with your mouse then

nvmm. i fixed some.

[DaMan113]

Originally Posted by Limeanade

SCORPIO October 23 - November 21

You are sharp, a quick thinker and good at puzzles. However these are your only good traits. You screw small animals and love picking your nose. You should become a stunt performer with no helmet.

wow thats nothing like me

[Limeanade]

lmfaooo. sadly mine kinda relates too me

[gong29]

wow...they all are sick cruel and demented.

i hope the guy who wrote this knows hes insulting himSELF.

I know that somebody will be going to my funeral.

dumbass.

[Limeanade]

lmaooooo.chillaxxxx
itsajoke.
and im not aguy, jeeez

imnot adumbass imthegreatestlivingmoron

[Shanepoo2]

VIRGO August 23-September 22
You like the good things in life and you know how to enjoy them. But you're prone to bull****ting and you're a cheap *******. Virgo men are usually queers and the majority of Virgo women are whores.

Queer, huh? ******* too.

[Limeanade]

lmaooo.
well thank you. for not spazing like the last person.

no one be offended plz.

[Shanepoo2]

LOL i don't listen to horoscopes anyway.. usually wrong.. mostly always